Relationship is the ground from which everything grows. Before we consider our leadership outward, we begin with our relationship to our own life — to our patterns, our narratives, our needs.
From there, we can bring forward an authentic self that others experience not as performance, but as presence.
And in leadership, how we enter relationship matters more than how we manage outcomes. Spaces where mutual trust and permission are cultivated become spaces where genuine collaboration can take root.
In this Conversation, we’ll explore Relationship as a leadership quality — first within, then between.
How do we understand our relationship to our own life?
Have you ever looked at yourself, in the eye, in a mirror? Like really look yourself in the eye — not the casual glance to straighten a scarf or even the practiced (dare I say automatic) look while shaving or applying a face? Try it.
Take two minutes to sit in front of a mirror and look yourself in the eye. Recognize what you see there.
Inner and Authentic Self:
Are you connected to the space around you? Have you ever considered how your feet feel on the floor or the way the cotton of your shirt swishes against your skin?
What about emotionally and spiritually? When was the last time you thought about your self, the you that’s more than skin and bone?
Some of us never think about the part of us that’s inside, that’s our Center.
We’re missing a vital component to deeper understanding of how we “tick”. We are missing an understanding of our own patterns, needs, and tendencies.
When we don’t recognize and get to know the self that sits behind those eyes staring back at us in the mirror, how can we come into meaningful relationship with anyone else?
Sure, maybe you’re thinking, “Well, I’m not at work to build relationship but to build a team, to get the work done!”
Here’s the truth: we cannot work meaningfully without having a connection to the people around us, to the people working with us each day.
And here’s another truth: it’s possible to carry the authentic relationship we have with ourselves outward — into our work and relationships — without losing its clarity or integrity.
Leader and External Self:
There’s an adage that we often spend more time with work colleagues than we do with the people who are in closer proximity due to familial, faith, or community connection.
Leadership is not a title or a role reserved for those in charge. It is a way of being in relationship with those around us — whether we’re a CEO, a mentor, a volunteer, a parent, or a colleague on a team.
Imagine being around people for hours on end, who you have no connection with …
Seems rather bleak, doesn’t it?
And many of us do that: we go to our offices or log into our workspace and never give much thought to the people around us.
Reading those words is sobering and it stems from somewhere.
We are people, in relationship with ourselves first. If we don’t cultivate knowledge of our Center, knowledge of our interior self, we won’t be able to build relationship with others. Without this ability to know self and to see that others are on a journey, too, we fall short of genuine connection.
When leaders foster genuine connections with those around them, they can reach levels of innovation and creativity far beyond what can be attained with superficial engagement.
Becoming a leader who is aware of their internal and external self means moving from “transactional” relationships to spaces of mutual nourishment and permission. And with intention, we can do that.
It begins by tending our relationship with self — and by recognizing that every genuine relationship we build outward begins there.
If this conversation resonated with you, I invite you to hold that feeling. In the coming conversations, I’d like to invite you to begin exploring your own Center …
We’ll engage with the idea of Reflection soon, but first, let’s dig a bit more into this idea of leadership.
Your Journey Sentinal, Andree
